ME: Hi, I’d like a Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso please.
BARISTA: You know a Venti already comes with four shots, right?
Don’t judge me. I have a demanding full-time job, a vivacious toddler, a dog who acts like she’s jacked up on pixie sticks, and a husband who works crazy hours. I need my caffeine and I need it now. Toss it with ice and hand me a straw!
In other news, this morning on the way to work my husband called me claiming that Libby’s (the aforementioned dog) food bowl was missing. He already searched everywhere and it was gone. Let me set the scene for you: Libby and her belongings are confined to the downstairs of our home. Although Libby is known to push her bowl around, she lacks both the opposable thumbs and the brainpower necessary to actually hide her bowl. It could only be so many places. Someone alert the authorities- a criminal has broken into our home during the night and taken only the dog’s food bowl.
I had to get off the phone with him. I was driving and the mental picture I was painting in my head had me in near hysterics.